Part 2: Embryo Adoption: What? Who? and Why?
Joe remembers God placing adoption on his heart early on in our marriage. Maybe even before marriage. It was never a deep desire from what he describes, but a tiny seed planted that God has grown slowly over time, possibly without him even being aware. I have always thought that adoption was a wonderful display of love and selflessness. For those people who chose to do it. Clearly, I had no idea what God had for me and our family. The one- or two-times Joe may have mentioned his tiny seed thoughts in passing, I may have thought it could look like traditional domestic adoption. And if I even had that thought, it was definitely YEARS away.
Ready or Not!? April 2022.
Well...here we are! We are doing this thing! Our adoption journey to this point has been beautiful, but I wouldn't call it easy. The processes over the past two years that I mentioned before (and will describe in more detail later) were really challenging at times. What is EASY is recalling God's faithfulness through each new stretch along the path. He has been present, never forsaking us, and so very kind, leading us with just enough light to take the next step (Psalm 119: 105,130). At times, I thought the pace was terribly slow, but He had purpose in every detail.
We spent many hours praying and researching all forms of adoption, but for those of you who may not know us, our story is not a traditional adoption story. We did not pursue domestic infant adoption. We did not adopt internationally. In fact, we did not adopt children already born. Instead, God led our family to adopt a precious group of embryos. You may be thinking.. Wait. What? I didn't know that was even a thing. Adopting embryos? We thought the same thing when we first discovered this option. It is most definitely a real thing. And there is also a very real need.
Our embryos were lovingly donated by a couple who underwent in vitro fertilization (IVF) to grow their family. As often happens with this process, more embryos were created than were needed to complete their family. This becomes a real ethical dilemma. When a family has extra embryos and determines they are unable to give those embryos a chance at life for whatever reason, they are basically given four options.
Difficult decisions to be made…
The first option given to families is to allow the unused embryos to thaw, but without a womb to transfer them to, they die. Because we believe all life is created by God on purpose, for a purpose, these tiny, young lives are highly valuable. Science is also very clear that at the moment of conception or fertilization (when egg and sperm join) a new, unique, complete, unrepeatable life is created. I just heard an amazing message by author and pastor, Louie Giglio. A deeper dive into this can be found below. I highly recommend you take time to listen. https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=louie+giglio+how+great+is+our+god&view=detail&mid=8CFDE53075ADB91F21318CFDE53075ADB91F2131&FORM=VIRE
Louie talked about how when molecular biologists study the DNA of the very first cell at conception (the zygote), they see it is complete, containing every detail of that person. This information aligns with what God reveals to us in scripture. God alone is Creator and He intimately knows each creature before He ever creates. “The Lord gave me this message: I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations” (Jeremiah 1:4-5). Embryos are fully human. They are worthy of the chance to continue growing, to be born and to experience life. We are beyond grateful to all genetic families who chose not to discard or destroy embryos, but instead, to honor them and give them a chance to live.
The second option couples are given is to donate their embryos to scientific research. Some may say this could be beneficial, but tragically, life is still lost in the process. The couple can leave their embryos frozen inevitably as a third option, but there are annual storage fees that can get expensive and eventually a choice must be made. This option has devastatingly led to the long-term storage, and in some cases abandonment, of roughly one million little lives across our country. Of those one million+, some are stored in cryopreservation (frozen) for parents who intend to return for them and transfer them into their mother’s womb. But many will never get this chance.
The fourth option is embryo donation also known as embryo adoption. The genetic family (or donor family) can donate their remaining embryos to an agency such as the National Embryo Donation Center (NEDC) whose purpose is to advocate for and protect the lives of the embryos while working with recipient families to match and prepare for adoption. We are grateful for this option and marvel at the beauty of God's work of redemption through it. This is what God does. He takes the broken and makes something new and beautiful. "And provide for those who grieve in Zion- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor" (Isaiah 61:3).
With embryo adoption, the process to prepare for a frozen embryo transfer (FET) is very much the same as for women who have transferred their genetic children to their wombs after being created using IVF. The adoptive mother’s body is prepared in such a way that her reproductive cycle matches the (very specific) stage of development of her adopted embryo(s). After several weeks of medications and injections and many checks and double-checks with bloodwork and ultrasound to be sure her body is as ready and hospitable as possible, a doctor and embryologist work together to thaw and transfer the tiny ones into the mother’s womb.
God's heart is Redemption. Not destruction or abandonment.
We adopted our embryos at the blastocyst stage, just five days into life post fertilization. and at the time, they were frozen in liquid nitrogen. We knew nothing about the need for embryo adoption prior to God bringing it to our awareness. But our hearts have been stirred, and we are passionate about sharing our story. Mostly to tell of God’s marvelous, unpredictable, faithful ways. And also, to spread the word that this is an option. That life is precious. Every embryo should be protected and honored. Embryos are not “potential” life. Embryos are not a clump of cells. They are human. Tiny humans in their earliest stages of growth just as all of us began. Embryos are children.
It is our concern that our society, in general, does not value their little lives the way we should. They are truly the least of these. Frozen, vulnerable, waiting for a chance at life. James 1:27 came up repeatedly in podcasts and devotionals over the weeks just prior to our embryo transfer that resulted in our son, Bowen, being born. "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you." Meditating on these words, I see the value God places on these little lives. And that He expects those who follow Him to notice and not be conformed to what the world says about them.
To the world, they are disposable, commodities, the product of a means to an end. But in God's Kingdom, they have infinite value and worth. They are created by God in His image. On purpose, for a purpose. I am humbled beyond measure and so full of gratitude for a front row seat (as a precious friend says) to what God has done and will continue to do!
Embryo adoption awareness has become a passion of mine, and the beauty of God’s heart for every living soul has inspired me to share. Thank you for being here. I am excited to tell you more about how we added to our family through embryo adoption, all the intricate details God orchestrated along the way, and keep you informed as our journey continues to unfold!
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